Buzzsaw Cowardice

Your buzzsaw quick cowardice dresses itself in the theft
of Judy, Doris, Rosemary, Anne, and Heather’s work.

Who? you ask ….Yeah .

And now you stand on the shores of the pacific, reeking of privilege and anglo pride,
bringing salvation to the poor people of a nation whose history and struggle you only notice in the airport gift shop.

What? you ask …..Yeah.

I would gladly stand in a court made of Y and 46XX to be judged.
And when sentence is passed would say thank while you slink out the backdoor
with your eyes down.

Uh? you say….. Yeah

So go a head spit spite and shout your words yelled from safe distances.
I am unafraid of any judgement you may generate and offer the evidence of your incompetence dressed in other peoples struggles.

But! you say……Yeah

it is not built within me

You cannot imagine the deflation of try no more than you could utter the words to someone else’s heart. In calling across the recreated glories of my sometime past I feel…

ah, there it is. feel.

So I act, and as is the timing of my thought to action, act quickly. It is not built within me to hesitate, and as I hesitate, i almost invariably go wrong. Nor is it within me to greet and smile and nod and be quiet when I cannot mean it.

You cannot imagine the deflation of try no more than you could intercept the slapped out words of others said to others. In calling across the recreated glories of my sometime past i fail…

ah, there it is. fail.

Lost in the where of when and why I am encumbered by your idea of my next steps and so I act, and act quickly. It is not built within me to be careful, and as i am careful, I almost invariably go wrong. Nor is it within me to spend careful hours and long spans in deliberation when I cannot mean it.

The full-tilt boogie of my mind rim-shots against the foolish idealism of what should be and results in a jangling jive of now, now, now.

ah there it is.

You cannot imagine the deflation of try

Homeless

In a crystalline fog they are the accusation of our indifference.

We sit on concrete ignorance and cannot see them nor wish to know of their breadth and scope, yet they are there like a silent accusation of our own hypocrisy.

You could say that there is no solution but we know it’s a lie.

You could say I have no power but it’s a lie.

You could say that they are there and if they chose they would not be, but it’s a lie.

So their existence slide by as we pass and consider the next comfort or respite but the accusation remains.

We chose not to do what we know is the right thing to do.

We chose not to obey the morals we so effortlessly espouse

We chose not to acknowledge our own part in this drive by climate

We chose to white wash our own better angels in small gestures during guilt alieving holidays.

I am no better than you, for my soul shouts in condemnation and I am my own hearts executioner. If I could point the finger of blame then I will begin it with myself and slowly outstretch my arm extending it to indite us all.

if we chose, this could end in the space it would take to breathe in summers heady perfume

if we choose, the concrete sitters would be lifted from their hard perch and encircled with the honesty of notice and care.

If we choose, houses would be built, coffers would be opened, doors swung wide, and abundance shared.

If we choose, dignity would be restored amongst sitter and passer and a new verse would be written.

If we choose, the blue pearl on which we ride would lift its collective voice in celebration of the sanctity of human compassion and human dignity uplifted.

So they sit and we cruise until we strike the first note and a new music replaces the cold crystalline air